When I have a bad day, a terrible week or an awful nights sleep, all I want to do is be Little Miss Negative, dive into my coffee and swim far, far away. I know I’m not alone on this one, we all have these days. I work extremely hard to pick myself up and change my mindset when I feel this way, as I know succumbing to such feelings won’t help me achieve anything. It’s not easy for me, and I’m no expert, but what I have learnt is that putting my negative energy into something more uplifting and positive can change my whole situation and make a rainy day a lot more bearable.
How do I do it? Here are MY tips for being positive & proactive when you feel like the world is out to get you:
- Focus on the good stop and think for a couple of minutes about the good in the moment, I’m sure you can think of something. So when you’re struggling because you think money is an issue because you can not afford a new handbag you’ve been eyeing up, try to thank yourself for the food that is being put on your plate that night – something we can easily take for granted. Or, when I’m having a bad body image day for example, I try to find a positive (and this can be very hard when I really am struggling) but it can be as small as ‘I love my nail polish, my nails do look amazing today’. Focusing on a positive can distract you from the negative and help to change your mindset.
- Make a plan of action sometimes, for me anyway, I have a bad day because of lack of planning. When I don’t see through my tasks for the week, I get annoyed at myself and I also end up with a list the length of my arm of things I need to catch up on. So I try making a plan for the week ahead of what I want to get done and when I can do it and this usually makes it easier for me to face, than trying to do it all at once, last minute. This is why I love journals, notebooks, stationary (Kate Spade especially) as it inspires me to stay organised and motivated and to follow through with my plans. In fact, I don’t think I function right without a to-do list!
- Talk, talk and talk some more because talking about something that is bothering you helps you to understand why you might be feeling a certain way. Friends and family members are amazing; they are there for you and when you need to talk, trust me, they’ll be there to listen. Hearing someone else’s advice and opinion on the matter can help you to see things from a different perspective, which often makes you feel a whole lot better about something. I discuss my thoughts and feelings all the time; I learn from others who may have been through something similar, or just may know how I can go about resolving a problem I may be going through…it’s the cheapest form of therapy!
- Find a fun hobby or event to attend doing this allows you to try something a little different, adventurous perhaps, which you may not have been brave enough to do before. Throwing yourself into something that is sociable and active helps you to meet likeminded people (expand your friendship circles as much as possible), let off some steam (especially sport related activities) and take your mind off things. You may find that you have a real talent at trampolining or public speaking, or maybe you’ll find a career path you never knew existed – whatever it is, you’ll reap the benefits of trying something new, outside of your comfort zone. Who wants to stay in their comfort zones for life anyway? Definitely not me!
- “Don’t worry be happy” OK, I am a worrier. But I am also a warrior! I try to find a good balance of worrying about what needs to be worried about, and yet trying to stop being so anxious over the things that I can not change, and maybe shouldn’t spend nights tossing and turning over. This is so hard; I can’t sit here and lie – I struggle with worrying about, well, LIFE! But worrying doesn’t often change anything, in fact it makes us tired, stressed and ultimately, very ill. So I ask others ‘are you worried about this and that?’ and if they’re not losing sleep over it, I know I shouldn’t either. And whilst on the subject of sleep, getting your proper nights sleep really can help if you suffer from anxiety, so make sure you’re getting your ZZZ’s!
I hope you can take a little something from this about being more positive when life is getting you down. And if all else fails, put on The Lion King’s ‘Hakuna Matata’ really, really loud and dance around until you feel silly, that will surely put a smile on your face! Big love to you all, and thank you to everyone who picks me up in my stressful moments – I count my lucky stars every day for you all.